I really struggled with this aspect of the brief,
What was my ritual?
What did it have to do with Endometriosis?
Was my piece a talisman?
I finally realised that ritual is anything I want it to be. I was sitting at my desk doing finishing touches and after looking around saw my ritual right in front of me. I work in, what other people would call chaos or mess,but to me it has a flow.
I work on several projects at once, jumping between them. They are not all the same discipline. I might be working on a tattoo, a painting and a piece of jewellery at the same time. All completely different styles. This can be like a cold shower to the brain. Cleansing. washes away the clutter of one project with another.
I shot a quick video while sitting at my desk. Everything in this film is of use (to me).
As I near the end of my project I find my pieces fall out of favour (with me), I know I am not the only one who thinks this way and it might be a symptom of the creative mind.
I dont hate them, but I like them less and less. I can be happy with them one day and then, I am over it! I guess this is a good thing in a way as there is no room for growth if I went about loving everything I made.
I feel good about the project though, I have covered a subject close to home and difficult to talk about. I missed a bit of time due to the illness of my mum, but I still managed to create. Skethbook work is another story for another time.
I decided to try and focus on designing a piece for myself based on my Endometriosis. I was diagnosed 18 years ago when I was rushed in for emergency surgery. At the time, the surgeon thought my appendix had ruptured but it turn out to be a large orange-sized cyst on my right ovary. I don’t want to turn anyone stomach so I will leave the details there.
This condition has plagued me in every aspect of my life. I am constantly tired, I have pain nearly every day and I have to go for 6 monthly check up and scans. For the past 6 years, I have managed my condition quite well and avoided any unnecessary surgery . My consultant would prefer to operate as I have 2 large cysts which total over 10cm in diameter.
I always attempt to look at a positive angle, so I took a negative (my scars) and turn it around to a beautiful piece of jewellery.
In January I decided to start running seriously, I have always wanted to complete a marathon but considered it beyond my abilities. I chose a plan (the non-runners marathon guide) and set out building up my runs.
As my runs have got longer and more frequent ( 4 times a week), I find myself with time to think. To start with it was ‘oh god! has it only been 5mins!!), now my mind can wander and I find solutions to problems that have eluded me. For example, how to connect a piece of jewellery or what to do about a work-related problem, or writing to-do lists in my head.
I ran nearly 6 miles on Saturday. It cleared my head and gave me a focus on what to do next.
Working with the 3D printer can be fun and frustrating! I am so glad we got taught CAD (all be it kicking and screaming!) Using Rhino and T-splines to create the shapes I see in my head takes hours, but I really don’t think I could have used regular jewellery skills for my ideas.
the triangle shape originated from my own scars, I however, did not want to design something 2D, a lot of my jewellery ideas tend to be flat which is odd since I work in a 3D discipline.
The shape isn’t symmetrical and that is deliberate, I want the pieces to look a little off. Endometriosis tends not to show externally but if you look closely at a sufferer you might see they are more bent over at certain times or the tire easily. I want the pieces I make to look off to start with but when examined closer they are unbalanced.
As a concept, it makes my brain itch. I like symmetry, I like balance. Having Endo means having to fight for balance every day. Some days I can work for hours others I tire quickly and lose focus.
I like to work in a chaotic mess, with many projects on the go. this way I always have something to be getting on with to keep my head busy.